parenting

Parenting has always been something that I have felt like I was called to do. I have known my whole life that being a mom is the #1 thing I strive for and the thing I want to do the best in. Raising kids is such an important thing to do because the younger generations are in fact our future and the people that we raise them to be is the type of people who will be running our world. I feel that this puts parenting in perspective and how important it truly is. 

Parenting is all about teaching. When we first have kids while they are young we are kind of like their managers. We supervise them and make sure they are doing okay, getting the things they need, and making sure they are acting respectfully. After time when children grow up, we then need to transition from a manager (or even sometimes micromanager)  into a consultant. The purpose for this change is to make sure that you are then allowing your children to put all the lessons they learned while they were young into practice. This does not mean that when kids are young you never let them figure out issues on their own or take the responsibility for their actions. In fact, good teaching as a parent is done through making sure they do assume responsibility for their words and actions. 

As a parent it is important to allow natural consequences to be the biggest role in their discipline. Punishments and rewards tend to be more manipulative than beneficial and create a virtually unrealistic world for the children .Children need chances to make their own choices when it is age appropriate and situation ally appropriate. There are a few exceptions to letting natural consequences dictate the outcome of everything. When natural consequences could be "too dangerous". This is why we do not let kids run out in a busy street just for fun. The natural consequence could be very harmful to them, instead as parents we step in and choose for them and explain what those natural consequences would be. Next is if the natural consequence is too far in the future to cause a learning opportunity, then it is necessary for the parents to avoid that. For example, if your child doesn't want to go to school, those consequence wot make an appearance until years and years later when they are distraught over not finding a job. Parents, step in! Lastly, is if the natural consequences will hurt others. If your child tells you they are going to punch someone, you need to step in because it is going to affect and hurt someone else. 

As parents we should encourage and acknowledge good choices that our children make. This will reinforce this good behavior and make the children feel heard and have confidence in having the ability to make good choices and help the process they go through in order to make those choices. If your child is not making good decisions then you can go through a process to try and correct their choices. 

1. politely request they make a different decision. 

2. "I feel" statement (discussed in my communication blog)

3. be firmer

4. logical consequences

Logical consequences are:

• logically connected to natural consequences
• discussed in advanced 
• when/then, if/then
• firm & friendly
• follow through first time 
• wiling to follow through 
• give another chance 
• involve child in decision 

Parenting is not easy but these couple of guidelines can help a lot with successfully raising good kids who can carry us through the future. Children need to feel loved and attached to their parents, so make sure that everything you do,you do out of love and concern for your child. Give physical contact freely, teach assertiveness, exemplify forgiveness, teach skills, give responsibilities but most importantly, LOVE YOUR KIDS.

Classmates blogs: https://kenziefer.blogspot.com/2019/05/other-links.html